Dayton, Ohio June 29. 1840
I am alive and with thee help of God I mean to live still. I am as the prodigal Son, though I never doubt or disbelieve the fulness of the Gospel: I have been greatly abased and humbled: And I blessed the God of Israel, when I lately read your prophetic blessing on my head, as follows:—
“The Lord will chasten him because he taketh honor to himself, and when his soul is greatly humbled he will forsake the evil: Then shall the light of the Lord break upon him as the noon day, and in him shall be no darkness” &c. I have Seen the folly of my way and I tremble at the gulf I have passed. so it is, and why I know not. I prayed and God answered, but what could I do? Says I, I will repent and live, and ask my old brethren to forgive me, and though they chasten me to death, yet I will die with the— for their God is my God. The least place with them is enough for me, yea it is bigger and better than all Babylon. Then I dreamed “That I was in a large house with many mansions, with you and and , and when it was said Supper must be made ready, by one of the cooks, I saw no meat, but you said there was plenty and shewed me much, and as good as I ever saw; And while cutting to cook, you and looked very pleasant and smiled, but ’s heart and mine beat within us, and we took each others hand and cried for Joy”. and I awoke and took courage
I I know my situation, you know it, and God knows it, and I want to be saved if my friends will help me. Like the Captain that was cast away on a desert Island, when he got off he went to sea again, and made his fortune the next time, So let my lot be. I have done wrong and I am sorry. The beam is in my own eye.
I have not walked with my friends according to my holy : I ask forgiveness in the name of Jesus Christ of all the saints for I will do right God helping me, I want your fellowship: If you cannot grant that, grant me your peace and friendship, for we are brethren, and our communion used to be Sweet, and [p. 155]