God: and the abyss
into which I have fallen, is a subject that swells, my
heart to[o] big for utterance, and language
is overwhelmed with feeling, and looses its power of description.
and as I desire to know the will of God concerning me;
Believing it is my duty to m ake known unto you my real situation.
I shall therefore, dispasionately procede to give a true and untarnished
relation; I need not tell you that in former times, I have preached the
word; and endeavored to be instant in season out of season, to reprove rebuke
exhort and faithfully to discharge that trust repo sed in me.
But Oh! with what grief & lame ntable sorrow and anguish do I have to relate
that I have fallen, from that princely station where unto our God, has
called me. Reasons why are unnecessary. May the fact suffice; and believe me
when I tell you, that I have sunk myself, (since my last separation from
this boddy) in crimes of the deepest dye, and that I may the better enable
you to understand what my real sins are, I will mention (although pride
forbids it) some that I am not guilty of, my <hands>
have not been stained with inocent blood; neither have I lain couched around
the cottages of my fellow men to seize and car ry off the booty; nor have I
slandered my ne ighbor, nor bourn fals testimony, nor taken unlawful hire,
nor oppressed the widdow nor fatherless, neither have
I persecuted the Saints. But my hands are swift to do iniq uity, and my feet are fast running in the paths of vice
and folly; and my heart [p. 39]